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Alameda County Family Justice Center

Justice is not served
until crime victims are.

Safety alert!

Abusers can track your computer activity. If you are in danger, please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE). And consider using a safer computer such as one from the library or a friend's house.

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  • Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures, etc.
  • Know where you can go to get help; tell someone what is happening to you.
  • If you are injured, go to a doctor or an emergency room and report what happened to you. Ask that they document your visit.
  • Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them (for example, a room with a lock or a friend's house where they can go for help). Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you.
  • Contact your local battered women's shelter and find out about laws and other resources available to you before you have to use them during a crisis.
  • If possible, keep a journal of all violent incidences, noting dates, events and threats made.
  • Acquire job skills as you can, such as learning to type or taking courses at a community college.
  • Try to set money aside or ask friends or family members to hold money for you.

General Guidelines for Leaving an Abusive Relationship

  • You may request a police stand-by or escort while you leave;
  • If you need to sneak away, be prepared;
  • Make a plan for how and where you will escape;
  • Plan for a quick escape;
  • Put aside emergency money as you can;
  • Hide an extra set of car keys;
  • Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and store them at a trusted friend or neighbor's house. Try to avoid using next-door neighbors, close family members and mutual friends;
  • Take with you important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc., as well as other important items for yourself and the children, including:
    • Driver's license;
    • Regularly needed medication;
    • List of credit cards held by self or jointly, or the credit cards themselves if you have access to them;
    • Pay stubs; and checkbooks, and information about bank accounts and other assets.
  • If time is available, also take:
    • Citizenship documents (such as your passport, green card, etc.);
    • Titles, deeds, and other property information;
    • Medical records;
    • Children's school and immunization records;
    • Insurance information;
    • Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will, and other legal documents;
    • Verification of social security numbers;
    • Welfare identification; and
    • Valued pictures, jewelry, or personal possessions.
  • Create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies, and schools in a town at least six hours away from where you plan to relocate. Ask questions that require a call back to your house in order to leave phone numbers on record.
    Created by K.Siu, 2005.