Skip to main content

Español 中文版

Alameda County Family Justice Center

Justice is not served
until crime victims are.

Safety alert!

Abusers can track your computer activity. If you are in danger, please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE). And consider using a safer computer such as one from the library or a friend's house.

ESCAPE
this site

Relationship Quiz: How can you tell that you might be in an abusive relationship?

In your relationship, are you…

  • Constantly accused of cheating? Constantly accused of flirting with others? Criticized often for little things?
  • Constantly asked about where you have been, what you are doing or whom you talked to?
  • Called frequently by your partner to "check up on you," and yelled at if you ever miss a phone call or don't return a call immediately?
  • Called derogatory names or told to shut up?
  • Isolated from your friends or family? Are you criticized for spending time with others away from your partner? Does your partner always feel like they need to be with you?
  • Forced to have sex with your partner or forced to do things you don't feel comfortable with?
  • Afraid to say "no" or disagree with your partner?
  • Pushed, shoved, hit, held down, spit on, kicked, prevented from leaving, punched or slapped?
  • Yelled at or told that you are stupid, fat, ugly, dumb, or worthless?
  • Forced to give up or choose between extra curricular activities and your partner?
  • Have you needed to give up any sports, hobbies or clubs that you participated in?
  • Worried that your partner follows you around, keeps tabs on you, or has others watching you and reporting on where you go, whom you talk to, and what you do?
  • Constantly told how to dress, or what clothes to wear or not wear?
  • Concerned your partner has used love or wanting to protect you to justify jealously; checking up on you, telling you not to wear clothes that show off your body, or manipulating your time?
  • Not allowed to have a job, saying that they can pay for everything and they don't want others to "check you out?"
  • Afraid to speak up about your abuser answering your cell phone calls, or checking your voice mails? Does your partner check your phone calls? (outgoing and incoming on your phone or your cell phone log)

If you answered "yes" to even one of these, you might be in an abusive relationship. Call one of the numbers on your resource list for help or call the National DV Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.